Monetary Things vs. Things of the Heart (March 9, 2014)

When I got to the clinic in the morning, I once again went through the motions of filing and organizing medical dossiers and charts for a while. When I got the chance to once again meet with Dr. Valle,  we very briefly discussed the nature of his profession as a doctor. Obviously, he talked about how this occupation provides a lot of monetary security. From what I can gather by the discussions going on in the clinic, Dr. Valle is very well off. I met and helped his wife move some supplies from the office to her car. I do not want to be a judge of love, but she was very youthful and beautiful, probably ten to fifteen years his junior. I obviously do not know because it would be very rude to ask. I spent the rest of the day filiing  more papers, learning how to weigh someone on a scale and how to interpret blood pressure in correlation to heart rates. There is so much to learn. There is so much to do. At the end of the day, I found myself once again asking if this is what I really wanted to do with my life. I always told myself that I would never have a nine-to-five job working behind a cubicle pushing papers just to make an ends meet. I would never be just a single drop in an ocean of uniformality. I would go out in the world and be something. I'm at the point in my life where I have to define what that something is. This does not feel right. I want to learn so much about medicine because the human body is a beautiful thing and I've always held that in my heart. But I'm starting to question whether or not this is the right profession for me. Am I even in the right field? What should I do? Do I really want to do this? I don't think that money is more important than happiness, but at the same time it's easy for me to say that when I'm still living and being dependent on my family. There is so much pressure in my family to join the medical field. My mother, three of my aunts and two cousins that I grew up with are all in or pursuing a medical career. They've always been supportive of the decisions I decide to make. But at this point, is it really a decision if it's already to be expected? I'm scared what they will think of me. I'm scared of what will happen if I fail. And, most of all, I'm scared I will make the wrong decision. Everyone is telling me to just to take up nursing because its safe. My brain says "yes" but my heart says "no". For now, I have to harden my heart and learn eveything I can about this profession through this mentorship. But I know deep down that no amount of time or money will ever sate it until I do what it feels is right.


Time logged for this session: 6 hours

Total time logged: 15 hours

Restarting and Relearning (March 2, 2014)

I resumed my hours at Dr.Valle's clinic on Saturday. It was a gratifying feeling to once get back into the motions of things. I began in the late morning (around 10) and spent a good portion of my day filing medical charts and dossiers into medical archives. All the while I saw people enter and exit Dr. Valle's clinic. I noticed that Dr. Valle's patients were mostly those of elder age. He works in internal medicine, but I could have sworn he works in geriatrics. Also I must mention I am not being directly supervised by Dr. Valle. The medical field is a very busy field and it was mostly his assistant, Dr. Lark, that helped me on Sunday. He is still my mentor, however. He is just a very busy man. For the most part, the day went smoothly and was very quiet. At the end of that session, I asked for a medical assignment to work on at home for extra hours and he asked me to do some research on what branch of medicine I would personally be interested when I get furhter along in my career. From what I know and have found out, all students of medicine start off studying broad medical classes such anatomy and biology, along with their general education, their first four years in a college or university. After that,  they can further specialize in many distinct paths and branches (i.e. I can become a registered nurse (RN), study more for a doctorate degree, specialize in certain area of medicine such as anesthesiology). Obviously, this is a lot to take in and think about. Do I really want to be in school for another 10 years? Is it worth to stay longer in school just so I could potentially make more money? And most importantly... do I really want to study for a field I find no enjoyment in just because it seems like a smart thing to do? I really want to find answers to these questions and more. Finding direction in my life is the first step to taking control of it. I hope I figure it all out soon.


Time logged for this session: 6 hours

"Homework" hours: 1 hour

Total time logged: 9 hours